Living in the mountains at about 5,000 feet in elevation for the past two months, physically I felt so high up. But there were many moments where I found myself feeling like I was in the valley mentally and emotionally. It seemed like the more I hungered for the things of the Lord the more the enemy tried to attack my mind with lies of self doubt, that I’d never be enough for my team. Feeling inadequate, left out, unseen, unheard, and not chosen; that my story didn’t matter. Many nights I found myself crying in my tent, asking God why I was feeling this way. I knew that my identity is in the Lord, so why was I feeling this way? I think sometimes it roots back to the the feelings of feeling uninvited and not chosen in friend groups throughout my childhood and into adulthood that I thought the Lord had already worked in that area of my life but I guess He is continuing to prune me in that area, bringing me closer to him becoming more confident in my identity in Him.
A squadmate recently reminded me to write those lies out and replace them with the Truth of what God says about me through His Word. And through a teaching one of our leaders put it this way: 1)Expose the lie 2)Eradicate the lie 3)Exchange it with the Word of God, and 4)Endure in the Word. When we begin to believe the lies we give the enemy a foothold into the rest of our lives. Pull the lie up by its roots. Renew our minds with what God says about us. Combat the lies of the enemy with the Word of God.
SELF DOUBT THE LORD STRENGTHENS ME AND UPHOLDS ME(IS. 41:10)
UNSEEN I AM SALT AND LIGHT(MATT. 5:13-14)
NOT CHOSEN I AM CHOSEN(EPH. 1:4)
NOT ENOUGH FOR THOSE AROUND ME
JESUS IS ENOUGH SO I DON’T HAVE TO BE
INVALUABLE I AM MORE VALUABLE THAN PRECIOUS JEWELS(PROV. 31:10)
UNHEARD GOD HEARS ME(1 JOHN 5:14-15)
I DON’T FIT IN HERE I AM A PART OF GODS FAMILY(1 COR. 12:27)
MY STORY DOESN’T MATTER MY STORY DOES MATTER(GAL. 2:20, REV. 12:11)
INADEQUATE I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR THROUGH CHRIST(ROM. 8:37)
What lies are you believing about yourself? What strongholds are holding you back from walking confidently in your identity in Christ? Replace those lies with Truth! You are fully known, loved and chosen by God!
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A LITTLE RECAP ON THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS::
*We had a Beauty For Ashes event for the kitchen ladies and the women of the Catracho Missions team. We got to show our love to them, honor them, and pour life into them. I had the honor of sharing part of my testimony and a small message on value and worth. And all the men made us dinner. It was soo sweet.
*We finished up many various manual labor projects for our ministry host, and continued making a handful of garden beds in order to help provide food for future teams and for those that live there.
*On our last night with our ministry hosts, they made a special dinner for us, and they poured back into us through words of encouragement and small gifts.
*Our bus ride to El Salvador was pretty smooth. We’ve been resting, recharging, and reflecting the past few days. And tomorrow we start a week of training before taking a bus to Nicaragua for month 3 of ministry on March 16th!
As always, thanks for following along!
Steph
Feel free to message me privately if you’d like to chat! I’d love to hear from you!
Hi, Steph! Thank you for being open and honest in your writings.
Steph, don’t believe the enemy.
There are so many things we pack into our luggage of life. Heavy burdens and mistruths are packed tightly in our luggage during different times on our journey. The first thing you need to do is unpack that baggage that is weighing you down in believing that you are not worthy, wanted and loved.
You were created by God who is love, and therefore, you are loved!
When you start feeling sad and lonely and unloved, remember who God sees you as, not what you think others see you as. See yourself as God sees you ! Meditate on and believe who God says you are !
Remember who you are and whose you are…..the precious daughter of the one true King. Ephesians 2:19-22.
I, too, struggle at times with feeling unloved and over looked. This is what helps me……..Write these verses out and look at them first thing each and every morning .
Jeremiah 31:3-4…I have loved you with an everlasting love…..
Psalm 139:14, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous — how well I know it.”
Matthew 10:31, “So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
Psalm 139:1-4You are fearfully and wonderfully made…..
There are so many more verses in the Bible that may speak to you as well.
Remember, each and every time you feel unwanted and unloved, Satan wins.
Keep your head held high! You are doing great work for the Lord!
—-Kayla’s mom.
Thank you for the encouragement!??
Sis,
Thank you for sharing! I too have felt a lot of those things through my life and to this day some of those things try to battle me!
Keep pressing in the way you are! The devil will continue to try and spit lies at you, but Gods truth about you will forever reign. Hold fast to that!
Love you!
Andrew
Thanks, love you too!
Thanks for you’re encouragement!
Hey Steph! This is truly beautiful. I know things have not always been easy, but you have all the tools you need for freedom. You are so wise and we are so proud of you! It was so sweet seeing you in El Salvador! We miss you already! Love you!
Thank you for sharing! Stay encouraged and know you are loved beyond measure by Jesus and all of us back home! Not to mention the people you are witnnessing to!
God Bless! Christ will never leave you nor forsake you!
Cousin Larry