HERE IN THE MOMENT BUT LOST IN THOUGHT

Ive sat down so many times lately to try and write a blog but I can’t ever seem to get the thoughts inside my head  into words on paper so I apolagize if this sounds a little rambled…

Some days it seems like just last week I was packing my bags and saying see ya later to family and friends, and other days it feels like I have been gone for over a year already.

Today I find myself halfway through month 9 on the continent of Africa(a dream of mine!!) in the country of Eswatini(formerly known as Swaziland). The squad is all together this month, living in a super small house( also known as “the closet”), split between two (of 39 in the country)different ‘care points’ for ministry.  A care point is a church sponsored location where kids come daily for a free meal and regular bible lessons and discipleship classes. Sometimes having close to 100 kids at each location. So yes I get to be with kids all day, if you know me its something I love to do. 🙂

Let me bring you up to speed a minute. Mid August we left our hosts in Lima Peru and took a 24 hour bus ride to the beautiful city of Cusco for a week of debrief and a visit to Machu Picchu!! At debrief we did team changes and role changes, had teachings, worshiped, and debriefed the last few months. After debrief we traveled to  a hotel(just think a really big house) in a small town surrounded by mountains about an hour away for a week of 24/7 prayer and worship with the squad. It was a sweet much needed time to just be with the Lord and each other with no distractions. We worshipped the Lord through song, prayer, art, writing, and bible reading. Talking about different spiritual disciplines and putting them into practice. On September 1st we then started our long trek to Africa. A 27 hour bus ride back to Lima, a night spent in the airport, a 5 1/2 hour flight to Cancun, a 10 hour layover, an almost 11 hour flight to Switzerland, a 6 hour layover, a 10 hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa, and then a 4 hour bus ride, we finally made it to our destination in Manzini, Eswatini on September 5th!!

Lately, Ive found myself many of times getting lost in thought as I begin to process these last 8 1/2 months and wonder what life will look like after the Race, just a mere 2 1/2 months away(woah!). trying to balance the in between of trying to stay in the moment, soaking it all up, being intentional to those right around me  and looking ahead to what is next.

In all honesty life has felt draining lately. Yes there has been really good days and sweet moments mixed in, but there has also been some dang hard days, moments and months. My heart is weary. I’m tired physically, mentally, relationally, emotionally, and spiritually.  As much as I try to stay engaged and be intentional in ministry and with my squad I’ve  often times found myself checking out recently.  My mind wanders to what’s happening at home, me longing to hug my people, wondering what life will look like upon returning home.

No this hasn’t just been a trip, it has been almost a year of my life lived and learned on the mission field around the world. Just as there are so many great and amazing  and miraculous things that happen there are also really hard and draining days that make you question your WHY. 

As I let you in on these hard thoughts and feelings, I know it’s only just a a season right now and it will pass. Continuing to remind myself of my WHY, and pressing into the Lord and what He has for me right here where Im at. Through it all the Lord remains faithful and is still soo soo good.  

Prayer Requests:

• Pray that we would be intentional and love those around us well, our squad mates, and all the kids at our ministry site
• Pray that we would stay in the moment, making the most of the time we have left, be intentional, and seek the Lord first in all we do. 
• Pray for joy and excitement for ministry 
• Pray for the Lords direction and provision as we transition back to the states in just a couple months. For jobs, and housing, things big and small.